To You

To A
I'm not very close with you, but you've once said to me that you were surprised about how you can talk to me about many things, as in you realized that I'm not just a serious person. And yeah, I'm glad that you found that out about me. I cannot really recall any special events with you, we seem to be more of a talk-once-in-a-while friends, not that I dislike it, just that we don't really a strong friendship. Still, I do enjoy your company and you're a nice person. ^^

To B
When I was told about it, at first I didn't believe it, because you knew me. But it happened anyway, and I'm not mad at you. Sometimes things just get out of control and it's no one's fault. I want you to know that I'm still your friend and I care about your happiness. Be happy and that's your payment to me. Haha, because if you're happy, then I know that I can let go. I will always be around if you need me.

To C
I hate the fact that I got closer to you only when you were about to leave. I've stressed many times that you've brought happiness to me, and the amount of happiness during those few months was unimaginable. I was sad when you left, and sorry when we don't talk as much after you left. Sometimes I even felt that I value you more than you value me. That's what I hate about friendship, the unbalance. Anyway, as I always say, try to make the best out of the worst, I try to hang on to the memories that we had together and be happy when we chat on Msn.

To D
You've been a great friend, keeping me accompany when I was lonely, never putting preference over friends, and being honest with me. I really enjoy your company, sometimes although scared, because I can never get things completed when you're here. Haha, but that's good in a way, isn't it? This shows that I put my full concentration on you. I want to say thank you, if it wasn't for you, this half year probably would have sucked, but you were here, so I'm happy. I'm really grateful that you're my friend, and I promise that you have my love :)

To E
Dear E, you've been an amazing friend to me. Once and once again, you never fail to surprise me with your maturity even though you're 2 years younger than me. When I talk to you, sometimes I even feel like I'm younger than you, and you're the one consoling me. Thank you, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have been able to understand many things. I've missed you so because you've also left :( But no matter, as long as both of us stay strong, our friendship stays strong.

To F
I think this year we talked less due to the fact that I live in Vietnam and whenever I come back I don't even meet up with you. Still, I don't think it's a big deal because there are relationships that do not disappear just because of time and distance.

To G
You brought me to heaven and then pushed me down to hell. It was a terrible week. I can't really even recall the happy moments that I felt because they make me feel stupid. Sigh~ but it's not even your fault. I was depending on you too much and I let myself do that even though I knew it was dangerous. Now I'm learning to let go, to let go of the past, and to let you go. When 2011 comes, it will be a whole new start.

To H
I feel sorry at our current state. What happened to our friendship? We seem to be people who just say "hi" and "bye". I miss the times when you will come over to my place and we would talk for hours. You used to be one of the first to know about the things that happened to me, but not now. You know that I'm not really a quiet person, that I'm only quiet in front of people who I can't really talk to. Now I'm quiet in front of you, I don't know what we can talk about, I feel as if I can't connect with you. What's wrong?

To I
We don't see each other that much anymore. Well, that's just how it is when we are not in the same country. Maybe I'm not putting enough effort. I feel like I'm losing you and I don't want that to happen. Stay with me, will you?

To J
You too, I feel like I'm losing you :( I don't see you on Msn, and that's how we stay in contact. When I ask you out, you have other plans. Can't you spare time for me? I haven't seen you for months. I truly hope that I can watch the concert with you next year, I really hope so.

To K
I can talk to you for a long time. Sometimes I have the impression that I'm close to you but sometimes I realized that I don't know a lot about you. But anyway, I like spending time with you, sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's thoughtful, sometimes it's relaxing. ^^ You make me happy. Thank you for expressing your concern about it three weeks ago, I really appreciate it.

To L
Sharing secrets with you made us closer, haha. We became really close after, and it's a wonder. We are somehow similar in some ways and I enjoy talking to you. It's..enjoyable. Thanks for supporting me, listening to my complains, and laughing with me. Thanks for being by my side when I needed help and thanks for being an awesome friend. Thank you, thank you, thank you! :)

To M
You know that I don't know how to express love easily. Yes, I'm learning, but I can only express it in front of people who express love a lot. Well, for now I just want to say, be wise when you make decisions, don't just do something just of the pleasure of doing it. Don't be fooled.

To N
I miss you, I miss you, I miss you :( I don't know how long I am going to say these three words, but I think it will go on at least for a few years, probably a minimal of 5 o.O Ahhhh, that does not sound good at all. Anyway, at least we can give each other *pat pat* and *hug hug* across the ocean, right? Haha ^^ I look forward to the next time when we meet again. See you when I see you!

******

I believe that friends (although this post includes people other than my friends) play an important role in my life, they help to shape my life, my attitude, my mood, everything. In year 2010, thanks to the fourteen people above, I've experienced joy, sadness, disappointment, moments of laughter, 思念, honesty, hesitation, rants, depression, thoughtful times, etc. Although 2010 wasn't perfect, but I definitely gained a lot in that year. Goodbye 2010, I think I am ready to let you go. Halo 2011, although I don't know what you have to offer to me, but I will try my best to make you a good year, a year where I continue my second year of being an adult. Let's embrace the future with an open mind and a positive attitude! :)

My Year 2010

2010 IS ALMOST OVER, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? 

This Q&A is my favorite post whenever it's the end of the year. One of the reasons I'm doing this so early (I did this on the 30th in 2008 and 31st in 2009) is because I've abandoned my blog for more than two months. Sorry, blog. I just can't find time to write.

stayed single almost the whole year?
- Yes, and this is the third time I've said this. I'm not desperate though, after what had just happened, I think I just want to be around friends at least for months.

kissed someone new?
- Nope, but I got a kiss on the cheek from John David Alexander, my favorite kindergarten kid is school ^^

done something you've regretted?
- For the past two years I've said yes but it wasn't something that I could remember. This year...kind of the same. The two intangible things that I fear are guilt and regret; before I do something, I consider "all the shades of gray" (HAHAHAHA) so that I don't do something that I will regret in the future. In conclusion, I think I can say that I did not do anything that I've regretted this year.

lost someone?
- In some ways, I've lost a few people.

Chris Choi - he left to South Korea to continue his studies. Although we are not not friends, but we rarely talk these days. He brought me a lot of happiness during the 2nd semester of Grade 10. Lame jokes!!! I used to feel so 无奈 when he tells me those jokes but now I miss them so much...such irony! He told me that he will be visiting next winter (I have to wait one more year >.<) and I can't wait to see how tall he will be then. Hahaha

Jenny Yang - My dear Jenny, one of my first friends when I arrived at SSIS, left shortly after fall break to the United States. Although she's 2 years younger than me, she doesn't make me feel that way (basically all of my friends at SSIS are younger than me - ggggrrrrr - but I don't really feel that I'm older than them). In fact, she sometimes makes me feel I'm younger because I listen to her for advice. I miss you so much, Jenny, when will be the time for us to meet again?

There is another friend that I've recently lost, or I thought that I've lost. After reconsidering our friendship, I've gained the friend back in a different way. I'm just happy that I did not lose that friend.

Cut class?
- No, no, no. Maybe private classes for once or twice but definitely not school.

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
- Hmm....I started the IB diploma this year, and I don't think I will ever forget the days when the homework pile just never gets smaller.

Visited a different country?
- Yes, I went to Hong Kong this summer! It was a great experience :)

cooked a gross meal?
- I've cooked something that is not very delicious but not gross, thank god. Haha

lost something important to you?
- I lost my Lenovo Thinkpad laptop that was only under my ownership for 2 months. It was a depressing time for me, and a painful lesson to learn.

got a gift you adore?
- I love letters compared to materialistic gifts. And yes, I did get a letter that I like ^^

tripped over a coffee table?
- Fortunately, no.

dyed your hair?
- My brother just asked me to highlight my hair yesterday, and I didn't really want to. Maybe during summer I'll do it, haha. What color though? The only color that I've really considered is dark/light blue, but I don't even know if it suits me. Any suggestions?

Is this blue okay?

came close to losing your life?
- Nope, I want to live loooong.

went to a party?
- I was supposed to go to Kajol's birthday party but I came back late from the NHS biking trip, so no.

read a great book?
- Sadly enough I realized that I didn't do much pleasure reading this year...

saw one of your favorite bands/artists live?
- T.T I'm sorry to say no, I didn't see any of my favorite artists live this year. Hopefully, HOPEFULLY, I get to attend Jolin's Myself concert when she comes to Malaysia.

2008: Friends and Enemies

Did you meet any new friends this year?
- I met some new people but none of them really became my close friends. I became closer to a few friends though, and I'm very happy about it ^^

Did you dislike anyone?
- Yes, I'm not very good at controlling my emotions and that probably is one of the reasons why I dislike people easily.

Did you grow apart from anyone?
- Yes, I did :( It's either they left SSIS, or I find that I just can't "click" with them, or the friendship somehow just fell apart. Did I make an effort to stop the friendships from growing apart? I think I did, but maybe not the best as I can. Not everything goes the way how we want it to be, right?

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
- Again, regrets are not something that I like to have. Although there are some parts that I wished were better, but sometimes it's probably better to go with the flow. We can't force ourselves to have something that doesn't belong to us. What is yours is yours, eventually.

2008: Your BIRTHDAY!

Did you have a cake?
- Finally I remember my birthday! Because photos were taken and I wrote about it in my blog, haha. So yeah, thanks to Kajol, I did have a cake for my 18th birthday.

Did you have a party?
- Not really a party, as I'm not a party person. But I invited some friends and we had dinner at NYDC.

Did you get any presents?
- Yeah

2008: All about YOU

Did you change at all this year?
- I think I did, although I don't know specially how, but I'm pretty sure I changed.

Did you change your style?
- I...got my nails painted black two days ago, does that count? Hahaha. But yeah, I do like to wear black, although it makes me feel hot like hell when I walk under the sun.

Were you in school?
- Of course, I went from a sophomore to a junior.

Did you get good grades?
- The 2nd semester of Grade 10 was the best since I attended SSIS. Junior year...it will be my worst since I attended SSIS :(

Did you have a job?
- I have no work experience! >.<

Did you own a car?
- I want to learn how to drive first! Vowed to during summer 2010, and I failed.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
- Hmm..no.

Did you move at all?
- I moved from My Phuc to the studio apartment that I live in now.

Did you go on any vacations?
- During the summer, I went to Hong Kong and Macau, and this coming week I will be going to Universal Studios at Singapore, Pulau Pangkor, and Penang Island!

.Would you change anything about yourself now?
- I wish for this every year: my weight to go down down down! I wish I can also improve my temper, so that I don't flare up so easily.

2010 WRAP UP

Was 2010 a good year?
- Every year has its own ups and downs, but yeah, 2010 was definitely a good year. 

(x) stayed single for the whole year
( ) kissed in the snow
(x) celebrated Halloween
(x) had your heart broken
( ) mooned someone
(x) went over the minutes on your cell phone
( ) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) came out of the closet
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) done something you've regretted

OTHER

( ) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
( ) ran a mile (I cycled for 45km though!)
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
( ) posted a blog on MySpace
(x) visited a foreign country
( ) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren't
( ) partied to celebrate the new year
( ) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lied about how old you were (That's what you start to do when you're 18 so that you can still get the non-adult price)
( ) prank called someone

In 2010 I...

[x] broke a promise
[x] fell out of love
[x] a little white lie or a joke.
[x] lied
[x] cried over a broken heart
[ ] disappointed someone close
[x] hid a secret
[x] pretended to be happy
[ ] slept under the stars
[ ] kept your new year resolutions
[x] forgot your new year resolutions (What were my new year resolutions???)
[ ] met one of your idols
[x] changed your outlook on life (I try to be as positive as possible, to make the best out of the worst)
[x] sat home all day doing nothing (Not exactly nothing, but I wasn't being productive)
[x] pretended to be sick
[x] left the country
[ ]almost died
[x]given up on something/someone important to you
[x] lost something expensive
[x] learned something new about yourself
[x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it (The black nails!)
[x] made a change in your life
[x] found out who your true friends were
[x] met great people (Great teachers and great friends are great people)
[ ] stayed up til sunrise
[ ] cried over the silliest thing
[x] had friends who were drifting away from you
[ ] had a high cell phone bill (It's hard for me to use up the credit in my phone since I don't use it often)
[x] spent most of your money on food/clothes (I spent a lot of money on food, since I live alone)
[ ] had a fist fight
[ ] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
[ ] gotten sick
[ ] liked more than 5 people at the same

I think many, many things happened in year 2010. It's just that everything feels so distant and I don't feel as if they all happened in one year. The few big things that happened:
1. Joining the National Honor Society - I'm sad that we're recruiting new members because it won't just be the first batch people anymore, everything is going to be different. We had great memories, especially the Wildlife at Risk and Mekong Biking Trip.
2. Attending prom - It was my first time attending such occasions. Dressing up formally, etc. Although I didn't really have fun, prom is just not my thing as I don't dance, but I'm attending prom again in 2011.
3. I became good friends with this guy called Chris Choi who I didn't expect myself to be friends with (I cannot say that we are good friends now, but we were). It was all because of Pre-calculus. We suffered together, we studied together, and we got bad grades together (although our definition of bad grade was different).
4. Summer vacation to Hong Kong
5. Studying the IB Diploma
6. Started my independent life in Vietnam alone
7. And so much more!

There were definitely ups and downs in year 2010, but I'm happy to say that it was an amazing year because of my friends and family that love me so much, who have been supporting me in whatever I do and being there for me when I need them. ^^ Thank you. Right now I'm not sad that 2010 is ending (maybe I will be on the 31st, haha) because I believe year 2011 will be a better one. Don't you agree? :)