Passport name Tan Wei Syn, born on September 18, 1992, race is Chinese and nationality is Malaysia. That’s me. By knowing this information, you don’t really know who I am. You won’t recognize me when I’m standing in front of you. Would you recognize me I provide you descriptions of my physical appearance? 157 cm tall, straight, shoulder length, black hair that is usually tied up in a pony tail, a pair of single-layer eyes wearing a pair of blood red and black glasses; a mouth that is about the same width as the nose, fingers that are unusually shaped sharply, and a body that is coated with a few layers of unwanted fat. Even provided with these descriptions, do you dare to say that you know me thoroughly? Of course not, because you don’t know what kind a person I am. In my opinion, to know what kind a person is cannot be done in a short period of time. The process of knowing a person takes years, even the person may not even understand himself. Another factor that makes the course of understanding a person difficult is that a person changes as time goes by.
If I were to describe my current self to another person, I would describe myself in different situations and conditions. For instance, I do not have many friends that I hang out with during the weekends; I have a few friends that I develop close relationships with and talk about our secrets and difficulties. In a party, I do not dance on the dance floor under the spot light; I tend to be more attracted to the food, sofas, and walls. People from different fields (teachers, students, and friends) that know me only know a partial of my personality, as I am not Atticus Finch, who is the same no matter he is inside or outside his house. I do not reveal my true self to everyone I know; I change accordingly to the person I am facing at that moment. In addition, I hate sports. In fact, I am afraid of sports, Physical Education is my worst subject. Physical stuff gives me so much pressure that I fear of being part of a team because I don’t want my teammates to lose just because I’m physically uncoordinated. When it comes to showing emotions, I prefer not to show my negative emotions – such as anger and sadness – to the public at all times. I think that showing emotions to the public is absolutely unnecessary, and it doesn’t really help to solve the problems that cause those negative emotions. I tend to like talking to people who are older than me, because they seem to be more matured. When I’m talking to the elders, I feel like I’m learning something new.
However, one can never be satisfied with herself. There is always something that we want, an element that we do not have in ourselves. I want to become a person that can socialize. I dislike standing against the walls in a party and being the stiff rock in the corner during a gathering. Silence and the atmosphere of awkwardness surround me when I am in a big group; I feel that I have nothing to do, nothing to say. Being the attention of the party is not something that I have ever wanted, but at least I want to enjoy myself and not sitting there drinking my lemon juice.
When something terrible happens, have you ever felt that your chest is squashing your heart, that you have to do something to make the disastrous feeling go away? Usually, I listen to music, write or cry. When I listen to music, I listen to rock ballads such as Miley Cyrus’ The Climb. I turn up the volume until I can’t even hear myself singing. Sometimes I write, mostly on paper with a pencil, because that’s the fastest way to release my sadness or anger. Mostly I cry, in my room, or in the bathroom. I cry my heart out, trying to release the clutching in my chest.
Despite the coping skills that I usually use, I wish that in the future, I can just talk to the person that’s causing my difficulties (if it’s caused by a person), so that the person will understand my feelings and may not cause me any bad feelings again. I wish I can use music or reading more to cope with difficulties or issues, instead of crying about it and put in back somewhere in my mind. The ability to handle stress is also something that I can improve on, so that I will have less difficult events or issues.
If I was given the chance to speak when the whole world would be listening to me, I would say, “Be responsible.” I usually become angry when people do not take their responsibilities seriously. To me, being responsible is extremely important, because you do not only affect yourself, but sometimes also the people around you. You should not depend on people talking up your responsibility when others realized that you are not going to do what you are supposed to do. There is not always a person who will be there and say, “Oh, she didn’t do it. I guess I have to help her do it then.” No! Do not think that someone will do your jobs for you; you are responsible with your own jobs, and you will finish your jobs with the best you can. If you are asked to do something and you think that you can’t finish is on time, do not accept the assignment. If you accept the responsibility, you must finish the assignment on time.
When I grow up, I want to work in the hospitality industry. I want to be a person that can help and satisfy people’s needs, or even make them happy, because I want to be a useful person. In addition, I like food and meeting new people every day, so working in a hotel or as an event manager satisfy my desires. I dislike sitting in an office doing the same routine and seeing the same people every day, but in hospitality management, there’s excitement going on every day. It’s like living in the wizarding world of Harry Potter. I’ll never know what happens the following day because I am working with hundreds of people every day. The hundreds of people change frequently too. I have to seek and serve the needs of these people from different places all over the world, different culture, background and places. Since I speak Chinese and English fluently, and I’m currently learning Spanish, I believe that the languages that I speak will be my useful asset if I work in the hospitality industry.
Furthermore, I love experiencing new stuff and accept challenges; you will get that in other jobs too, but probably not as much in hospitality management. Helping people and making people happy makes me happy, because I want to be a useful person whom people needs. Working in the hospitality industry is as if I am working globally, in the world, except that I don’t have to travel all over the world to learn about different people from different cultures, they come to me.
After all, what I want to be certainly will help me in my socializing skills, which is something that I wish to improve to myself a better person. I believe that my future is in my hands, I have the ability the shape my future just like a potter making a vase that will be filled with the most beautiful carnations found on earth. By understanding myself, knowing what I should improve on and living by my motto, I have faith that my future will be as bright as a sunny sky.
The conclusion of this essay is cheesy, I know.
I feel embarrassed about it too.
Conclusions are always my weakest part in an essay, sorry!
Great essay! - Jenny
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